The Renku Sessions: Purple Haze – Week 4
Hi, everyone,
I’m Kala Ramesh from India, and I’m your sabaki for this renku.
We are writing a Junicho – a 12-verse renku (linked verses). The fourth verse is selected, and we are on to our fifth verse!
If you want to read my introduction to this renku, the link below:
Intro: https://thehaikufoundation.org/the-renku-sessions-invitation-2/
1st week – Hokku: https://thehaikufoundation.org/the-renku-sessions-purple-haze-week-1/
2nd Week- Wakiku: https://thehaikufoundation.org/the-renku-sessions-purple-haze-week-2/
3rd week: Daisan: https://thehaikufoundation.org/the-renku-sessions-purple-haze-week-3/
I thank you for the kind feedback many of you have shared.
_()_
I received a significant number of offers for this slot. Forty poets submitted over 150 poems. You’ve submitted very good verses, but some were haiku, some contained seasonal references, and others didn’t connect or transition well from the top verse.
Consequently, I couldn’t accept them. One poet, in her enthusiasm, sent me 40 poems for this slot! Please stick to just three.
Please remember that only the first verse (hokku) is a haiku. All the others are sentence ku, meaning they lack the two-part image structure of a haiku. Learn to differentiate between them and to write them, understanding the difference.
I’ve given you some information on link and shift below. Please read it carefully.
Enjoy!
_kala
Now for the shortlist:
two inmates escape
from the prison hospital
Pauline O’ Carolan
traveling the world
in our yellow submarine
madeleine kavanagh
(making it an homage to the Beatles)
* I loved this candidate, but we already have the colour ‘purple’ in the hokku.
butter gathered inside
the frying pan like golden fog
Dan Campbell
* ‘golden fog’ is still ‘fog’, which is a seasonal word for autumn.
we all pray for peace
in the Middle East
andrew shimield
we crawl through a tiny door
in the ivy-covered wall
Marion Clarke
* This is a beautiful verse, but a bit close to the daisan.
those misplaced hearing aids
screeching
Pamela Garry
their family history
as fake as their heirlooms
Tracy Davidson
inside a top-ranked boutique
trying on high-heeled shoes
John Daleiden
a pocket watch ticks
though no one winds it now
Guliz Mutlu
sweeping up spilled salt
grandma thwarts the devil
Laurinda Lind
fragrance of onions frying
floats in from the kitchen
Mohua Maulik
After careful reading and analysis, the verse selected as the 4th verse:
Purple Haze
purple haze …
sunlight filters through
jacaranda branches pc
a flight of butterflies
on the wood corral jd
an unmarked key
found at the bottom
of the drawer sa
Beethoven’s symphony
builds up to a crescendo mm
Mohua Maulik
I couldn’t miss this for the world!
It’s a new topic. Music is a great theme in renku. This verse has an internal rhythm when read aloud. I think it’s a stunning verse for this slot. We have done the introduction (jo) and now we are entering the expansive middle portion – Ha. Introducing Beethoven is good.
Well done, Mohua.
This verse links to the previous verse on the word ‘key’. In Western music, a key is the foundational system of pitches and chords that a piece of music is built around, establishing a “home base” (tonic) for the melody and harmony.
Basho spoke about various ways of linkage. I have written an essay on link & shift for contemporary haibun online. Please check it out. https://contemporaryhaibunonline.com/cho-16-2/link-and-shift-kala-ramesh/
Excerpts taken from this essay:
In his book Renku Reckoner, John Carley describes three tiers of linkage: word/object, core or content, and scent.
“Kotobazuke — word links — and monozuke — object links — occupy the lowest rank,” he says. “These are forms of linkage predicated on the word choice or primary content of a verse. We are dealing with everything from crass puns to abstruse flummery [to] the simple association of one object with another.
“The middle rank,” he continues, “is composed of kokorozuke — core or content links. . . [A]n added verse most often reads as an extension of the action or setting of its preceding verse, so forming a distinct pair. Despite some potentially ingenious twist, there is a narrative connection between them. Even where the link is more subtle and indirect, it remains amenable to understanding.”
John Carley goes on to note that the third tier—nioizuke, scent linkage—was developed by Basho, who placed it uppermost: “Nioizuke evokes a much more tenuous set of associations, which are nowhere specified in the text itself. . . The reader is obliged to engage with the poem as an active interpreter.”
Scent links rely on connotations in the same way that a flower might be conjured by its perfume.
As John Carley explains,
According to Basho’s followers, Basho said he used this word (scent) to mean a link that operates without references to verbal or logical similarities, links that are impossible to predict, and rely primarily on mood, intuition and instinctive feeling. Scent links ultimately allowed Basho to link in ways that assumed that renku can attain a condition close to that of music.
As much as Mohua’s verse links through a word, the overall link, I feel, is ‘scent’.
an unmarked key
found at the bottom
of the drawer sa
Beethoven’s symphony
builds up to a crescendo mm
Beethoven’s symphony is almost emerging from the bottom of the drawer, building to a crescendo and bringing with it a beautiful rhythm.
Renkujin so far in this renku are:
hokku: Pauline O’ Carolan – spring
wakiku: John Daleiden – spring
daisan: Sanjuktaa Asopa – no season
4th verse: Mohua Maulik – no season
Now we move on to the 5th slot.
The schema:
Junicho: a twelve-verse renku (collaborative poetry)
hokku – spring blossom
wakiku – spring
daisan – cut away verse – no season (ns)
4 short – ns (chosen)
5 long – summer
6 short – love ns
7 long – love winter
8 short – ns
9 long – end summer (monsoon in India!)
10 short – ns
11 long – autumn moon
12 short – ageku – autumn
* Please remember: you should offer blossom, moon, love, season verses, and so on, only during the specific slots provided in the schema.
Purple Haze
12-tone Junicho
purple haze …
sunlight filters through
jacaranda branches pc
a flight of butterflies
on the wood corral jd
an unmarked key
found at the bottom
of the drawer sa
Beethoven’s symphony
builds up to a crescendo mm
5th verse requirements:
4 short – ns (chosen)
5 long – summer
It is a three-line summer verse. Our sixth and seventh verses are love verses, so we will not mention any human being in this slot.
Anything between 12 and 14 syllables.
All the words and images that have already been featured will not appear in your offers. Introduce new topics. Renku thrives on variety! Remember, renku is not thematically linked
Rengay, created by Garry Gay, is thematically connected.
Please submit only three offers from each poet—no more. Link to Mohua’s verse but move away from all the verses above!
For verses that need a kigo (formal season word or phrase), we will be using The Five Hundred Essential Japanese Season Words:
https://thehaikufoundation.org/omeka/items/show/821
I’ll wait for your offers. The window closes each Monday, and my selection, along with the requirements for the next verse, will be posted here every Thursday.
Have fun!
Your sabaki,
_kala
THF strives to maintain a safe and friendly environment for our readers and site participants. Participation in our offerings assumes respectful and appropriate behavior of all parties. We reserve the right to refuse service to anyone, for any reason, at any time.
If you see something you feel may violate our Code of Conduct, please report it to the appropriate moderator or the President here.
