The Renku Sessions: Cotton Clouds – Week 22

Welcome to the current renku session. I am John Stevenson and I have been your guide for a twenty verse, nijûin renku.

Here is a sample of your suggested title alternatives and comments on our shared composition experience:

I’m still very new to this form and don’t really understand the progression of the renku verses but it has been great fun to take part under your leadership John. Thank you for a wonderful experience! I hope you’ll lead another renku session soon!
Regarding the name: I like Cotton Clouds because I also see the last verse’s ballon being tugged up into those clouds.

Belinda Behne

Cantering endlessly
Cantering through time

Urszula Marciniak

I can’t think of anything better than “Cotton Clouds” for this renku’s title. (Each verse is like a little cloud?) Any of the other major words and phrases from your hokku might work as a replacement title, but replacing “Cotton Clouds” doesn’t seem to be a necessary action. “Cantering the Meadow,” however, might be a fun replacement title, but only if turning the verb “canters” into the present participle “cantering” is OK according to the rules of renku.

I enjoyed participating in this renku session because of its controlled and “silent” submission process. Limiting the number of candidate verses to just five each week and sharing my submissions with just you made my participation seem less stressful than in prior renku sessions I’ve participated in. In most of those earlier renku sessions, participants could submit as many candidate verses as they liked before the weekly deadline. Moreover, everyone could read and comment on (in real time) what others were submitting in a free-for-all, performative fashion. This renku session was quieter, like having a one-on-one conversation in a little nook (a confessional?). Earlier renku sessions were like attending a noisy party with multiple people speaking all at once. Both can be enjoyable experiences, but having a quiet conversation, at least for me, is more meaningful and memorable than being overwhelmed and distracted by a cacophony of boisterous voices.

Richard Straw

new skyscraper going up
to reach for new clouds

Lorraine Schein

At a Cantor

This Renku experience was fun, challenging, thought-provoking. I enjoy the surprising twists and turns, as the verses evolve. It was particularly fun to imagine links between the new offerings and the previous verse. I appreciate the many lessons from the sabaki and the inspiring verses from my fellow contributors. Even though my verses didn’t make the final cuts, I felt honored to see some in the short list. One landed in a previously unfinished haiku.

Pamela Garry

Cotton Clouds seems like a good title. Besides the technical reason, it also reflects the lightness in the verses.

It was fun participating in the process John and thank you for the explanations. Maybe next time I will spend more time on this.

Biswajit Mishra

I don’t have any different title suggestions. Cotton Clouds just fits it so well!

Thank you for the joy of these Renku Sessions. I get to learn and read amazing poets! And you have a wonderful way of leading us through. Thank you so much!

Deb Feller

Mane Airstream

Anton R-kelian

These renku sessions are always one of my most enjoyable, fun and challenging poetry experiences. I can only imagine how much greater it would be in person! Thank you so much John and for all who participated.

Michael Henry Lee

Although I personally like Cotton Clouds as the title, here are a couple of potential alternative titles that I have considered:

Balmy Breezes
Sweet Nothings

This format without everyone being able to chime in is a bit sterile, but effective. It prevents toxic rhetoric as seen in past renku, but loses something in being able to express appreciation for well written, selected verses. Having said that, it seems better to err on the side of sterility and have more explanation of the reasoning for why certain verses are considered and/or discarded or chosen (as was done). The lack of rhetoric drew me back to participating, and I thank you, John, for guiding us all through this renku session. I always learn so much from participating and often get a haiku or two from my “castoff” verses.

Nancy Brady

Alternative titles: Teen Spirit, Paper Cuts, Tulips Spilling.

Thank you, John, for another great renku session. I enjoyed participating. Although I understand why comments were closed for the duration – the previous session having become extremely toxic – I have missed seeing interactions of the more reasonable and social kind. If we all promise to behave next time, can we have them back? I would like to keep the limit on verse offers though. Scrolling through dozens and dozens from the same people was a bit much.

Tracy Davidson

I have no suggestion for another ‘title’, John. The pinto colt under a sky of “cotton clouds” works best for me.

I certainly appreciated the absence of distracting, irrelevant, social verbosity (and sometimes abusive verbosity). At this point, I appreciated the one voice, that of the sabaki, and am thankful for your wise decision to exclude participants’ comments, greetings, opinions etc. Yet I would hope for a middle way for future renku.

Lorin Ford

I enjoyed the Renku session very much. It is great fun reading everyone’s verses. I appreciate the interaction and learning opportunity. Thank you!

Title thoughts:
sweet nothings
balmy breezes

VJ Green

I found the renku session exhilarating as this is a new form for me. Your week by week instruction was clear and helpful. I still do not completely grasp all the implications of each verse to the whole but the image of moving forward is a strong one. I was thrilled to have a verse chosen and hope to continue trying. Like anything, at points I was overwhelmed by the parameters of the process but your kindness and patience led us through. Thank you for a fun and educational experience.

Possible titles:
Meadow
The pumpkin’s face

Anne Fox

I very much like the title “Cotton Clouds”. It reminds of a dream still fresh on our minds as we squint our eyes open to the new dawn. It also reminds me of the golden twilight hour as we reflect and daydream about what to do for the rest of our day. The night is still young. :) Both are pleasant and sweet feelings.

For suggestions: “Sweet Nothings”. Or “Some Cherry Petals”. Or “The Moon In Thirds”.

“Cotton Clouds” has been a peaceful 20 weeks. It has been such a pleasant experience. I know the deadline is Monday. I know the results are posted on Thursday. My whole week can be about writing and living my life. I enjoy reading your short list choices and commentaries. Thank you for including me in some of them. I have enjoyed each week’s assignment.

Diana Ming Jeong

“Cotton Clouds” is indeed a fitting title. So many of the verses could be visualized as moments under a cloudy or partly cloudy sky. Clouds are transitory, and we can be tugged along by whatever winds come our way. I like the title as it is!

I want to note that verses nine and ten, in particular, were central moments in the poem for me: despite known hardships (in life, I’d say), we keep reading and moving forward to more adventures. Thank you for including those moments.

Thank you, John, for guiding this renku from creation to completion. Your thoughtful and thought-provoking comments were much appreciated and very instructive. This was my first go at renku. It was a bit of a learning curve to not write in the style of haiku but to keep to the guidelines you provided. I enjoyed reading the paths authors followed when they used kigo that I had used or considered using. It was very inspiring to see the possibilities in the kigo that stay true to the spirit of renku. What fun being launched in different directions based on a single word!

I look forward to taking part in the next renku sessions. All the best to wherever your pinto colt takes you.

Margaret Anderson

It’s been a joy to see the different directions the renku has taken and I appreciate the smooth as well as creative navigation that has led this session. I love the showcase of poets’ work in the short list and I was inspired by the commentary on Wendy’s, Pamela’s and Lorin’s verses in the past couple of weeks. I have learned a lot from your commentary throughout this session. It’s been an honor to be part of this amazing renku adventure, among such talented poets.

madeleine kavanagh

Thank you all, so much. It has been a pleasure.

I will be traveling for haiku events during much of this month and next. We will reconvene in November. In February, Kala Ramesh will once again lead a session.

With best wishes, always,

John

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