The Renku Sessions: Salmon Run – Week 5
Hello, renku friends. I am John Stevenson and I will be leading you in a brief, twelve verse renku before Kala Ramesh starts her session in February.
For verses that require a kigo (formal season word or phrase) we will be using The Five Hundred Essential Japanese Season Words: https://thehaikufoundation.org/omeka/items/show/821
Here is my short list for the fifth verse:
closed lips
in the witheringly
cold wind
Richard Straw
the earthquake
doesn’t knock down
all the icicles
Sean Murphy
footsteps
of the prodigal son
in the snow
Carol Jones
searching for patterns
on a randomly scratched
sheet of ice
Urszula Marciniak
winter rain
on both sides
of the windowpane
Pamela Garry
waking up
to the bite
of a north wind
Debbie Feller
fireplace smoke
swirling around
the old cabin
Andrew Pineo
the taste
of first snow
in open mouths
susan grant
grey feathers
escaping
the quilt
Orense Nicod
winter greens
perfume
the bonfire
Belinda Behne
tight grip
of a snowy owl
on the post
Biswajit Mishra
walking with
the cold sting
of sleet
Sharon Ferrante
wishing their tongues
hadn’t touched
the icicles
Tracy Davidson
melting icicles
unchain
the wind chime
Laurie Greer
a last bit
of her grandfather’s jacket
in the patchwork quilt
Joshua St. Claire
snow muffles
the clanging
of the bells
Pauline O’Carolan
snowflakes fall
on the shredded stalks
of cotton
Milan Rajkumar
winter rain
flung from rows
of creaking oars
rob barkan
lost feeling
in frost
bitten lips
Margaret Anderson
turning off
the alarm clock
on a snow day
Debbie Scheving
house sparrows
caught in the talons
of a Cooper’s hawk
Nancy Brady
winter winds
moving across
shadows
Stephanie Bauer
I guess there’s only so much to be done, no matter how often I repeat it, but many offers are still being passed over because they are written in the style of haiku. Renku verses (other than the hokku) are not like haiku. They do not contain a two-part structure, do not include a break or pause, and do not register as potentially stand-alone poems. They consist of an unbroken sentence or phrase and only work as poetry when viewed next to some material from the previous verse. I will stop repeating this but please note that it will be applied throughout this session.
Here is my choice for the fifth verse:
snowflakes fall
on the shredded stalks
of cotton
Milan Rajkumar
Cotton fields are redolent of America’s history of race-based slavery. But this image is also gentle. The intense labor of the harvest has passed. There is something else here, relating to the current idiomatic meaning of “snowflake” as someone overly sensitive, easily offended, or feeling uniquely entitled. Kigo should register first as that which makes them kigo but this does not forbid them from having secondary, more metaphorical resonance.
Here are some of the other verses from my short list that were most tempting:
turning off
the alarm clock
on a snow day
Debbie Scheving
Linking sound image (chants) to sound image (alarm clock), this verse might suggest our natural aversion to hearing things that we do not want to hear.
the taste
of first snow
in open mouths
susan grant
I mentioned that we will want to include all our senses in this renku. This would have given us an interesting “taste” (and “touch”) image. We will probably get at taste later, through some kind of food image.
winter rain
on both sides
of the windowpane
Pamela Garry
I take this to depict an abandoned and partly ruined house. It puts me in mind of the phrase, “A house divided against itself cannot stand.”
Here is our renku, so far:
Salmon Run – A Twelve Verse Renku
a brief rest
before the rapids
salmon run
Sally Biggar
crescent moon
clearing the fence
Orense Nicod
a ghost light
keeping the stage
alive
scott anderson
the echo
of slave chants
Abigail Friedman
snowflakes fall
on the shredded stalks
of cotton
Milan Rajkumar
This week we will be writing the two-line sixth verse. This will be the first in a pair of non-seasonal love verses. It must not contain anything from our list of seasonal words and phrases.
A word about love verses for those of you new to renku. The love verses will focus on love between adult human beings – not love of pets, ice cream, nature, etc.
Please use the submission box, below to enter up to five of your verses. Submissions will be closed at midnight, eastern US time, on Monday, December 15. My selection of a sixth verse and instructions for the seventh verse will appear here on Thursday, December 18.
Let’s contemplate love!
John
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