The Renku Sessions: Salmon Run – Week 6
Hello, renku friends. I am John Stevenson and I will be leading you in a brief, twelve verse renku before Kala Ramesh starts her session in February.
For verses that require a kigo (formal season word or phrase) we will be using The Five Hundred Essential Japanese Season Words: https://thehaikufoundation.org/omeka/items/show/821
Here is my short list for the sixth verse:
both her hands
warm between his
Kristen Lindquist
the bedsheet cool
to their skin
Richard Straw
we melt into
each other
Sean Murphy
on ladies’ night
i follow her
rob barkan
your warm arms
around me
Pamela Garry
cares melt away
in my lover’s arms
wendy c. bialek
the softness
of his touch
Debbie Feller
confident lovers
savor silences
James Penha
dandruff shampoo
before their first date
Michael Henry Lee
her pearl necklace
in candle light
Andrew Pineo
the taste
of a lover’s kiss
Rebeca Thomas
their first kiss
full of fresh breath mints
Tracy Davidson
love letters’ ashes
in an ivory box
Christopher Seep
soft kisses
under the sheets
Diana Ming Jeong
under the sheets
one mountain
Rachel Greve
oh those
washboard abs
VJ Green
your scent
hidden in the sheets
Abigail Friedman
a gentle hug careful
to miss bruised spots
adanne wrenn
rows of married couples
at the mass wedding
Pauline O’Carolan
rising from the ashes
of her broken engagement
Madeleine kavanagh
love at first swipe
on the dating app
Laurie Greer
smoothing
the crumpled love note
Orense Nicod
butterflies in my tummy
watching you smile
Melissa Dennison
placing wedding cake
on your trusting tongue
Margaret Anderson
her smile
melts me
Biswajit Mishra
he paints
her toenails every week
Nancy Brady
melting
into the curve of your hip
Jonathan Alderfer
As I have said, once before, I am giving you a small set of factors to work with each week. If there are unmentioned considerations that end up eliminating some of your verses, that is no fault of yours. The main example this time is that I failed to mention that, when we are creating a series of love verses, they should progress in a chronological fashion. The first of the love verses should reflect the early stages of love (first attraction, dating, proposal, etc.) so that the next verse can reflect a later stage (anniversary, etc.).
Here is my choice for the sixth verse:
love at first swipe
on the dating app
Laurie Greer
Talk about “early love” – we now have the ability to begin the process before actually meeting our intended partners. The word play is fun; replacing “sight” from the well-known idiom with “swipe.” This is also the first appearance of humor in our renku. And it covers the topics of cyberspace and technology.
Some may wonder whet the link is between this and the previous verse. I don’t think there has to be a single answer. For me, the downward movement of snowflakes in the previous verse is countered by the swiping aside of this one.
Here are some of the other verses from my short list that were most tempting. The choices are especially difficult this week, since you did so well with this topic. Most of these will be representative of several other good verses with a similar image:
their first kiss
full of fresh breath mints
Tracy Davidson
We will want to cover all the senses in the renku and love verses give us a good opportunity to “check the boxes.” This verse gives us scent and touch. And maybe taste, too.
oh those
washboard abs
VJ Green
This, I think, is my second choice. The enthusiastically declarative quality of it would add something new to our renku. And the gender-neutral nom de plume of the author gives it a layer of complexity that would create multiple linking options for our next verse.
melting
into the curve of your hip
Jonathan Alderfer
There were several good verses that made use of a melting image. This one struck me as particularly compelling but there were many close seconds.
Here is our renku, so far:
Salmon Run – A Twelve Verse Renku
a brief rest
before the rapids
salmon run
Sally Biggar
crescent moon
clearing the fence
Orense Nicod
a ghost light
keeping the stage
alive
scott anderson
the echo
of slave chants
Abigail Friedman
snowflakes fall
on the shredded stalks
of cotton
Milan Rajkumar
love at first swipe
on the dating app
Laurie Greer
This week we will be writing the three-line seventh verse. This will be the second in a pair of non-seasonal love verses. It must not contain anything from our list of seasonal words and phrases. And it should reflect a later phase of a love relationship.
Please use the submission box, below to enter up to five of your verses. Submissions will be closed at midnight, eastern US time, on Monday, December 22. My selection of a seventh verse and instructions for the eighth verse will appear here on Thursday, December 25.
Keep the love coming!
John
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