The Renku Sessions: Salmon Run – Week 7
Hello, renku friends. I am John Stevenson and I will be leading you in a brief, twelve verse renku before Kala Ramesh starts her session in February.
For verses that require a kigo (formal season word or phrase) we will be using The Five Hundred Essential Japanese Season Words: https://thehaikufoundation.org/omeka/items/show/821
Here is my short list for the seventh verse:
the bare nape
of her neck in the light
of a movie marquee
Richard Straw
he shoplifts
her favorite perfume
for her birthday
Kristen Lindquist
renewed our vows
with a pastor
named Elvis
Dan Campbell
saying
I miss you
via video
Sean Murphy
joined in holy matrimony
’til lawyers
do us part
Christopher Seep
now it’s
his cat vs
her dog
Michael Henry Lee
an affair
like a train wreck
you can’t look away from
Michael Henry Lee
applying for
graduate school
to be together
Pamela Garry
spending
more time
with the work wife
Andrew Pineo
his thoughtful gift
of a new iron
for her golf bag
Tracy Davidson
two lovers
and a cat
share the bed
Belinda Behne
celebrating another year
of an eyebrows raised
marriage
Debbie Feller
old fashioned
fine china
for the 20th
Laurie Greer
their startled
looks on
the kiss-cam
VJ Green
she still cares enough
to throw a dinner plate
at my head
Keith Evetts
holding hands
on the couch
asleep
scott anderson
thirty year
earthquake
of a marriage
Laurinda Lind
everyone thought
their elopement
wouldn’t last
madeleine kavanagh
no regrets
of these many long years
of togetherness
Lakshmi Iyer
we agree
no phones
in bed
Orense Nicod
their second child
is born
and passion disappears
Pauline O’Carolan
he stole her heart
and then
her money
Pauline O’Carolan
two teenagers
work on their night moves
at the drive-in
Veronica Hosking
rediscovering
each other
in a marriage
Biswajit Mishra
reaching over
in the night
just to check
Debbie Scheving
Since I brought up the topic of linking last week, several of you have asked for more comment on that subject. Here is what I have said to some of you, in reply.
Ideally, the widest possible array of linking strategies will be employed within a renku. In the course of my renku experience I have come to look at absolutely everything as connected in some way. It is only the “way” that varies.
Since renku is not a narrative poem we need to take special care to minimize narrative linking, which is so prevalent in our cultures. Ideally (again) the only strongly narrative link will be between the first and second verses. Linking is easy. The sense of shifting is what we must work at. What we are looking for is spontaneity and a sense of perpetually forward momentum.
Here is my choice for the seventh verse:
he shoplifts
her favorite perfume
for her birthday
Kristen Lindquist
The linking in this case, as with several other offers, is through a second meaning of “swipe.” I also relate this strategy to the substitution of “swipe” for “sight” in the previous verse. We will want to downplay or avoid wordplay as a linking strategy for the next couple of verses.
In addition to giving us an amalgam of humor and discomfort, a different take on the theme of love, this verse introduces the topics of special observances (birthday) and crime/dishonesty. Also, this is our scent image. Although unspecified, perfume is all about scent.
Here are some of the other verses from my short list that were most tempting:
renewed our vows
with a pastor
named Elvis
Dan Campbell
Instead of mixing the humor of the previous verse with a different emotion, this one “doubles down” on it. For me, this verse says “Las Vegas” and everything that implies.
joined in holy matrimony
’til lawyers
do us part
Christopher Seep
This is another example of amplifying the humor. In this case there is an added tinge of cynicism or sarcasm.
their startled
looks on
the kiss-cam
VJ Green
This could have been our current events verse, though, writing for a world-wide audience, I’m not sure how big a story this was outside of the US.
his thoughtful gift
of a new iron
for her golf bag
Tracy Davidson
I love the way this suggests all of the potential turning points in a long relationship. In this instance, the potential sarcasm of “thoughtful” is redeemed by the gift.
Here is our renku, so far:
Salmon Run – A Twelve Verse Renku
a brief rest
before the rapids
salmon run
Sally Biggar
crescent moon
clearing the fence
Orense Nicod
a ghost light
keeping the stage
alive
scott anderson
the echo
of slave chants
Abigail Friedman
snowflakes fall
on the shredded stalks
of cotton
Milan Rajkumar
love at first swipe
on the dating app
Laurie Greer
he shoplifts
her favorite perfume
for her birthday
Kristen Lindquist
This week we will be writing a two-line summer verse. It must contain a summer kigo from our list of seasonal words and phrases. It would be good for this to be an outdoors image and we might use our sense of taste this time. Not required but just suggested.
Please use the submission box, below to enter up to five of your verses. Submissions will be closed at midnight, eastern US time, on Monday, December 29. My selection of an eighth verse and instructions for the ninth verse will appear here on Thursday, January 1.
Looking forward to your offers!
John
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