The Renku Sessions: Salmon Run – Wrap Up

Here is a sample of your title thoughts and comments on the session. Note that I have inserted comments in a few instances, using italics and quotation marks to distinguish my words from yours:

‘Before the Rapids’ — there is so much potential in this phrase: the thrill of anticipation, the calm before the storm, the memory of something past, the fickle currents. I like the openness of this phrase. I think of the little gasps and holding of breath as each week’s offerings unfolded. Thank you, John, and fellow renkuists for this wonderful journey!

Pamela Garry

What a wonderful ageku, and the whole thing is delicious.

Urszula Marciniak

Thanks for leading us in this short renku. It’s been fun and educational. Almost any single phrase from the twelve verses in the “Salmon Run” renku could serve as an alternative title. My favorite though is Laurie Greer’s “Love at First Swipe,” which could also be a great title for a sitcom or rom-com.

I have enjoyed participating in building this and past sets of linked verses. It’s been a challenge and humbling to accept the weekly invitation through a writing prompt to become part of (in a very small way) haiku’s rich history and tradition. I especially take to heart how you describe haiku images in one of your latest comments:

“…I hope that the process of writing sharply focused and sincerely open-ended images will provide many of you with strong foundational material for future haiku.”

Your comment in a way encapsulates a main reason I continue to participate in this and other writing-prompt forums that The Haiku Foundation sponsors. However, it’s not to build a database of “fragments and phrases” for future haiku and senryu. Rather, I’m most of all on the lookout for those “sharply focused and sincerely open-ended images.” They’re the most elusive things in creation!

Richard Straw

My alternative title suggestions:
Ghost Light
Love at First Swipe
(Redacted) States

Tracy Davidson

clearing the fence

Michael Henry Lee

good day John, you have made this renku a superlative experience using your fine ability to choose the best, most poetic and fitting verses each week. thank you for an enjoyable and rewarding twelve weeks.

my title suggestion:

a soap bubble wobbles

rob barkan

Wow. This offering is so similar to mine! I’ve wondered if this would ever happen! I planned to ask you about using two spring kigo, if it is encouraged or frowned upon or a moot point?

John: “I don’t believe that it is either frowned upon or encouraged but there are rules about it. The main one relates to a single verse with kigo from two different seasons. The rule is that one of them must be clearly “dominant.” This is because any seasonal verse has a mission to invoke a single, particular season.”

I see that madeleine kavanagh also used two spring kigo! A few words have changed.

kites catching up
to the spring wind

madeleine kavanagh

kites drifting
on a spring wind

Diana Ming Jeong

Each week was fun and a challenge! I missed submitting for a few sessions but I enjoyed reading your thoughts and the short lists each week! Thank you for adding me to some of the short lists. :) I still favor having the comments turned off.

I look forward to the next session.

Diana Ming Jeong

Even though I missed some weeks because of other projects, I still enjoyed the process and commentary. It was exciting to see new names among the participants. I always get a few haiku out of my verses so thanks. A couple alternative titles.

left & right
(redacted)
first swipe

Nancy Brady

my renku pieces
acknowledged but not embraced—
still fun sabaki

James Penha

Thank you for sharing your time and expertise. The Renku feature is a wonderful educational opportunity! I appreciate reading participant verses and your commentary; both are helpful to me.

A different name, perhaps “Snowflakes Fall”, however, I think that title would cast a sad light on the overall feel of this renku. I dearly enjoy watching snowflakes fall (especially the quiet, fluffy ones), but as a title, with the difficult topics included in the verses, some of the fun and joy leave the completed work.

Thank you for the encouragement and edits. They are also very helpful.

VJ Green

A deliciously vibrant verse by Wendy to end a remarkable renku. Wendy’s ageku is lighthearted as well as celebratory…A perfect choice. The short verses are beautiful. I love Ann’s “…for a moment” butterfly poem, as well as Pauline O’Carolan’s “…closing wings” poem. I wanted to thank you for publishing my verse in the final short list, and for improving on it. It sounds a lot better as a shorter verse:) It also flies a lot better, without strings! :) Thank you for your weekly guidance throughout the Salmon Run session. The short verses and showcasing poems have been a joy to read and your feedback has been invaluable…I have learned a lot.

I have appreciated the opportunity to create verses weekly, bringing a lot of excitement to each week, as I am sure it has for many others. It’s been a great learning experience. I have appreciated my verses being published in the short list. It’s been fun and exciting to be part of this unique renku adventure.

madeleine kavanagh

Thank you, John, for another fun and collaborative session.

Wendy’s verse is a joyful wrap-up, the word play reminding me of Dr. Seuss.

We appreciate the time you’ve taken to guide us here.

Debbie Scheving

“A Brief Rest” would be a fitting title too as the opportunity to compose verses has been a brief rest from the trials and noise of the world.

What’s amazing and wonderful is to see the variation in the way the participants think.

I’ve been thrilled to be on the long list for every session, and twice on your comment list. That’s so encouraging.

Thank you for conducting a most enjoyable, peaceful session.

Pauline O’Carolan

These are three phrases within the renku that might have been contenders –

From the verse by scott anderson – ghost light
I like the shadowy nature of the phrase. When reading a renku verse/ poem they are ephemeral moments and, I’m sure many of us see different things when reading the verse as a whole.

Laurie Greer – dating app ( having a gerund in the title, I believe is not suitable)
I like this, it’s a bit of fun for those of us that make a date to post each week.

Wendy c. Bialek – soap bubbles
Just like the contributions to the renku verse this phrase has a delicate colouration and is a fleeting moment in time. I like the vision of the wobbly bubble emerging from its wand, similar to the verses that make up a renku verse, we make it in the end and such a delight it is.

Congratulations to all the poets that have been chosen for this renku session. I’ve enjoyed reading ‘all’ your verses each week.

Carol Jones

It was a pleasure to take part in such an engaging sequence among so many talented poets, and to witness the creativity unfolding week after week. I especially appreciated how the renku made room for negativity and friction without being defined by it. That quality feels true both to the arduous motion suggested by Salmon Run and, for me, to the times we’re living in. I’ve learned a great deal from your commentary, and it’s been an honor to share in this renku journey.

possible alternate title Clearing Fences

Orense Nicod

This was a fun, delightful experience and the renku we collectively created thanks to your deft leadership is really excellent. It is so fresh and took us in so many different directions at each turn – I couldn’t wait to see what new stanza would appear each week!

The only thing I found frustrating was having to rely on Kenkichi Yamamoto’s 500 Essential Japanese Season Words. I think we can trust participants to rely on intuition as to what words might be associated with which season. We really shouldn’t be encouraging English language writers to mimic Japanese culture (why have Doll Day as one of our season words and not Thanksgiving (U.S. or Canadian?) And if we do use Kenkichi Yamamoto’s list, it would be helpful to have some guidance on variations. For example, “freeze” is listed as a winter word, but could we use “frozen” even though that word is not listed? How about “oatmeal” or can we only use the word “porridge”?

John: “Thank you for raising these questions. There are a limited number of season word listings for which I can give a hyperlink and I try to alternate among those that are available. For live sessions among North American participants, I favor Bill Higginson’s Haiku World.

While I am a fan of intuition and spontaneity, kigo are not intuitive. They are formal. While Japan features a variation of climate like the US, the timing of Japanese kigo relates to how the seasons occur in Kyoto. Such an understanding does not currently exist for a renku that spans the northern and southern hemispheres and multiple cultures and political entities.

I take the point about more guidance for variations. To the example of “freeze” and “frozen,” for instance, I would have said that either could be used but that, in both instances, poets should be careful about using the words in the manner of kigo, whose mission is to invoke a particular season. Thus, “freeze dried” and “frozen yogurt,” for instance, would be problematic.”

But other than the season word issue, this was a fantastic experience and I will recommend it to others.

Abigail Friedman

I am posting this to you John for my wife Wendy. She has been in and out of hospital with end stage liver disease. She wants you to know that she enjoyed all your choices as well as short list choices during this salmon run renku. It raised her spirits When you chose her verse for the ageku. She feels at home with the title salmon run and is sure that many other phrases show merit as well. She thanks you for the privilege and opportunity to share in this fine renku. What she mostly enjoyed of you being Sabaki is that you are not afraid to state that you love a poem or what someone has expressed. Have a happy Valentine’s Day.

Rob Barkan

John: My best wishes to Wendy!

The complete text of “Salmon Run” has been added to THF archives.

https://thehaikufoundation.org/the-haiku-foundation-renku-archive/

Next Thursday will feature the invitation for a Junicho – 12-verse renku to be led by Kala Ramesh!

Thank you, everyone! 

John

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